Chubby Bunny Inc
by Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory
Summary: FINALLY UPDATED! After the game, Cloud & co are friggin bored, so they go on a world conquest cuz they feel like it. Now taking on Nibelheim and Rocket Town
1. March on Nibelheim

Hey, didja ever wonder what happened to the FF7 characters after you beat the game, and all that stuff? Yah, this is a story of what happened right after Holy got spouted out all over the world and all. By the way, don't take the ending seriously, (if you do, I will eternally consider you an ignoramous). Also, I don't own jack shit. Cool.

Cloud and co. just finished thwarting Sephiroth's evil plan, and now realized that there really wasn't anything to do with their lives anymore. So there at Cloud's house they sat.

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Cloud: Uh... we could watch a movie!

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Red: No, we've been watching movies non stop ever since we got here a month ago.

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Tifa: This is sooo boring. Geez, watching my boobs go up and down as I breath is starting to get exciting.

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Cid: I'll say!

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Vincent: .......

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Yuffie: Gawd, you're so dull!

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Vincent: .....

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Barret: Dammit, now I'm wishing that Shinra'd come back to life, just so I'd have a reason to go kill somebody.

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Cloud: Kill the cripple! He was born defective, he deserves to die!

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Vincent: .... I am not a cripple. Furthermore, I was not born this way.

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Cloud: You were too born a cripple! You got no arm! 

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Vincent: I wasn't born without an arm. Hojo cut mine off and attached this wooden one.

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Cloud: You're still a cripple!

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Vincent: ......

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Barret: Okay, let's be prejudice against cripple kids and kill 'im! Let's go Cid!

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Cid: Wuzzah? Sorry, I was to busy watching Tifa's heaving chest. Could you repeat it one more time?

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Barret: ... nevermind.

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Yuffie: Ooooh OOOOOHHHHH!!!!

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Cid: Wait a second! Is someone getting action over there and leaving me out?!

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Red: No. Yuffie's just making her noises again.

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Cid: ... Hot damn...

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Yuffie: I'VE GOT AN IDEA!!!

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Tifa: Yuffie, we already watched ice melt. 

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Yuffie: Oh.... Okay, I've got another idea!

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Cait Sith: What?

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Yuffie: Let's start are own organization of terrorizing towns and becoming a big evil organization like the Shinra did.

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Barret: No! I'll never be one of the Shinra!

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Red: It would give us something to do, though.

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Tifa: Let's do it! *jumps up off of couch*

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Cid: Holy shit! They bounce! 

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Cloud: Yah, but what will we call ourselves?

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Yuffie: Well since I came up with it, I get to name the company! Chubby Bunny Inc!

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Tifa: OMG! That's so cute!

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Valentine: .... Let me guess, we're the TURKS.

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Red: No way, due to copyright laws, we could be sued for that.

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Clouds: I know!! How about... the SWEDES.

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Barret: Yo, the FINNS sounds way better.

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Cait Sith: Why not just split up into two factions. Yuffie can be the leader, considering she came up with the idea, and then Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and Red can be the FINNS, and me, Cid and Vincent can be the SWEDES.

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Cid: Hey! I wanna be with the FINNS! 

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Tifa: You just wanna stare at my boobies, don't you?!

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Cid: Hell yah!

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Yuffie: Okay, let's start the first Chubby Bunny Inc. meeting. I say we raid all of Nibeheim and make it our base. If anyone opposes us we'll force them to eat brownies... without milk!

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Everybody except Yuffie and Vincent: *gasp*

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Sephiroth: I am here to kill you all, for it is mother's wish.

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Cloud: Sephiroth.... you're dead.

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Sephiroth: No I'm not!

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Cloud: Yah you are. We went and killed you, remember?

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Sephiroth: Oh.. oh yah... are you sure? 

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Cloud: Yah, I'm sure.

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Sephiroth: Oh, okay! Toodles! *dies*

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Yuffie: Anyway, FINNS, go take over the store, Inn, and the Shinra mansion. SWEDES, get the brownies and whatever food is rich and extra dry and chocolatey. While you're at it, get some milk so that we can wave in front of our victims faces! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

They then went out on their missions.

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Cloud: There! Arrest that guy at the hot dog booth!

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Reno: Hey, what the hell you think you're doing?

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Tifa: We're taking the whole town by force!

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Cloud: So, you survived through the whole crisis?

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Reno: Yah. The TURKS was over so I decided I would start a new life as a humble weenie monger. It just so happens that you losers are trying to shut my weenie stand down, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to kick your asses.

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Barret: You can't beat us!

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Reno: What makes you so confident?

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Barret: Because... Tifa has big boobs?

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Reno: Out of all the stupid- *sees Tifa's chest* Holy shit! Look at them melons!

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Cloud: Get him!

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FINNS: *tackle Reno*

Meanwhile...

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Cait Sith: Well, that's all the candied confections in town.

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Vincent: *in the shadows* Let us go back to our dwelling.

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Cid: You sure do hang out in some dark areas buddy.

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Cait Sith: Yah, it's too bad that you melt in the sun, vampire boy.

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Vincent: ...... shut up.

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Sephiroth: I am here to become god of this planet!

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Cid: Dude, you're dead! Go away!

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Sephiroth: B-b-but!

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Cid: Go croak in some lonely cave, dammit! Shooh!

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Sephiroth: sniff But I... sniff

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Cait Sith: You really wanted to be part of this fic didn't you?

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Sephiroth: *nod*

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Cid: Well now that we know for certain that you sniff crack on a regular basis...

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Cait Sith: Know what? I know what you could do!

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Sephiroth: What?

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Cait Sith: You could play the part of Vincent's ex-girlfriend Claire!

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Vincent: I don't have an ex-girlfriend named Claire.

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Cait Sith: *smile* Now ya do!

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Sephiroth: Oh good! This'll be so much fun! *puts on his make up* Oh Vinnie pooh!

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Vincent: Ah crap!

---

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Yuffie: So, how many have you taken captive?

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Cloud: The whole town! All the buildings and all nine residents!

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Reno: I'm not a resident! I'm a weenie monger!

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Yuffie: Bring me... the brownie. *dramatic music*

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Cait Sith: *hands Yuffie brownie* 

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Yuffie: Now this is what you get for talking when you're not supposed to! *shoves brownie in Reno's mouth*

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Reno: Oh no! I'm allergic to chocolate! I'm gonna start breaking out in hives any second now!

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Sephiroth: Oh my, what a sore sight you'll be.

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Reno: Sephiroth, aren't you dead?

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Sephiroth: Don't be quiggly, you silly goose! I'm not Sephiroth, my name's Claire.

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Vincent: mumble, mumble

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Sephiroth: Now what'd you say there, love muffin?

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Vincent: Cloud! Can you make him go away?! He's messing up my cool, mysterious aura thing!

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Cloud: No can do, my beastial friend. I would never harm such a beautiful lady.

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Sephiroth: *giggle* Oh you flatterer!

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Vincent: It's not a girl. It's Sephiroth.

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Cloud: No she's not. Sephiroth's dead. That's your girlfriend Claire.

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Vincent: No it's not! Besides, I thought he was gonna be my **ex** girlfriend.

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Cait Sith: Well, you see Vincent, things change. You can be-

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Cid: TIFA, HOW COULD YOU?!!!

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Cloud: What's going on?

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Tifa: Oh, he's just mad because I'm wearing an overly modest shirt today.

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Cid: I can't believe you'd do this to me! I trusted you!

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Sephiroth: Hey honey, should I get some boobies like she has, or would you prefer them in a different size?

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Vincent: That's it! I can't take this anymore!! Do you even realize that if it weren't for Hojo that I could have been your daddy?

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Sephiroth: Well, I do know that I'd sure like you to be my daddy. My sugar daddy, that is!

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Vincent: .... I'm going back to my coffin for a very LONG sleep.

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Sephiroth: I'll go with you!

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Vincent: NO!

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Reno: Ugh! Please! No more brownies!

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Yuffie: Oh come on! You only got 256,789,153,764 more to go! Or is it because you want this?! *hold milk in front of his face*

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Reno: Gimme! PLEASE!!!

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Yuffie: It looks really good doesn't it. *starts drinking some* Mmm, it tastes good too. It just goes down your throat washing away whatever stickiness you have . 

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Reno: What'd I ever do to you?!

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Yuffie: YOU SPOKE! *shoves another brownie down his throat*

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Rufus: I will not have you treating my employees that way!

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Cloud: Great... another dead guy...

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Rufus: What are you talking about? Unlike Sephiroth, my death wasn't official!

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Barret: Dude, your office blew up with you in it. I'd think that'd just about kill you.

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Rufus: There are ways...

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Cloud: Whatever.

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Cait Sith: Good, the SWEDES are short one person, so you can be with us.

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Sephiroth: What are you talking about?! I'm with the SWEDES!

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Cait Sith: No you're not. You're Vincent's girlfriend.

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Vincent: HE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!

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Rufus: Hmm... just to make things interesting... *clings onto Vincent* He's right, he's not your girlfriend. I am!

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Sephiroth: GET OFF OF MY POOKIE!!!

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Rufus: He's MY pookie! Get your own!

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Vincent: I don't want to be here right now...

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Cid: Why don't we go and kill all the dead guys... they piss me off.

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Yuffie: Not now, I'm busy!

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Reno: *cries*

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Red: We've taken over this town, so shouldn't we go for another one?

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Yuffie: ... I guess so. *looks at Reno* Consider yourself fortunate that I'm busy. *walks off*

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Rufus: .... Why is Reno's face expanding like a balloon?

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Sephiroth: Hives.

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Rufus: Oh, okay... HE'S MINE!

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Sephiroth: NO, MINE!!

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Vincent: Why not go for Cloud? He's the main character and he has that cool, big ass sword!

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Sephiroth: Well yah, but he just doesn't have the same dark mannerisms.

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Rufus: Yah, and I feel that it's my new goal in life to piss Sephiroth off, so yah.

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Sephiroth: MY NAME IS CLAIRE!!!

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Rufus: That's not fair! Why does he get a girls name and I don't?!

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Cait Sith: To make you happy, you are from now on... Stacia.

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Rufus: Sweet!

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Yuffie: I have decided! The next town we'll attack is... ROCKET TOWN!

And so this pointless plot continues in Ch. 2, which I can't figure out a name for yet.


	2. Take down Rocket Town

Yes, we have made it to chapter two of the Chubby Bunny Inc series after a long and terribly awful discontinuation. Since I was told to bring it back, back it came. Anywho, read it, love it, review it, and make me happy.

Yuffie and the rest of Chubby Bunny Inc marched on to Rocket Town, evil intentions in mind. Soon, after each town was rampaged, the world would be theirs for the taking.

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Yuffie: Kill all of the women and children, capture the men, and put all the hot ones in my private study.

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Barret: Since when do you have a study, let alone a private one?

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Yuffie: Since I said so.

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Cid: Hold up! Screw the men, but I ain't killin' no women! I need them for my own 'personal' needs!

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Yuffie: Dammit, do what I say!

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Cid: Bite me!

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Reno: Can't we all just get along?

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Cid: Suck my balls bitch!

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Reno: Don't call me a bitch! *smack him with electric rod* It's 'Your Royal Pimpness."

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Rufus: Wow, look at this place... what a hell hole, don't you think, pookie?

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Sephiroth: Sorry but ME and pookie are busy having a heart to heart conversation.

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Vincent: I was telling you that I hate you.

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Sephiroth: Don't be silly dear!

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Rufus: Claire! Stop keeping Vinnie-kins all to yourself!

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Sephiroth: Why my dear Stacia, how could you ever accuse me with such a dreadful thing?

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Vincent: ... Just knowing you refer to each other as if you were women is freaking the shit out of me.

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Tifa: Vincent, come on! You've got two hot guys drooling over you! I'd so go with it if I were you.

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Vincent: ... easy for you to say...

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Cloud: *puts his arm around Vincent* I see it this way my friend, *outstretches the other hand in front of him* Us sexy guys are always forced to go against our very nature and become terribly gay, overly so. Because of this, your having two guys on you will make you very popular with those girls who like boy on boy action. Sadly, there's also a good chance you might end up in a large steamy threesome.

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Vincent: ....

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Red XIII: I'm hungry. Could somebody feed me, please? 

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Cait Sith: I'd be quiet if I were you. Yuffie just got a new batch of fudge cookies, and she's been dying to try them on somebody to test their effectiveness.

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Red XIII: .....Then again, starving doesn't seem like that bad of an idea.

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Cid: Tifa, why are you being so mean to me?

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Tifa: Look, I'm sorry you don't like my new change of dress. Geez, get a playboy or somethin.'

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Cid: But I'm broke! C'mon! Looking at your boobs is way cheaper than buying the ever desired horny magazine of life!

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Tifa: I'm sorry, but I'll be walking around in this here nun outfit until your perversion is healed.

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Cid: You are friggin evil!

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Barret: Nah, she ain't evil. It's them Shinra that're the evil ones! YA HEAR ME, YA DAMN DEMONONIC PUNK?

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Rufus: Ahem! Can't you see I'm flirting here?

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Barret: Let's see ya flirt with my boot after it's been shoved up your ass!

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Rufus: You won't be able to do that because my Vinnie-pooh will protect me! Right Vinnie?

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Vincent: ... no.

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Rufus: ... Reno, you're working for me again. You are to take any boots that come for my sexy postierre.

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Reno: And suddenly my life sucks.

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Yuffie: Dammit, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!! Now, go take over the town, damn y'all! SWEDES left, FINNS right! GO!!!

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Reno: Wait... who's part of GO?

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Yuffie: No, it's not the name of a faction, it's a command.

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Reno: Oh, so we're supposed to go and look for all Finnish and Swedish people in the town?

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Yuffie: Holy shit you're stupid! Just do what everybody else does!

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Everybody else: *stands there*

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Yuffie: Why aren't you moving?

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Cloud: I'm confused!

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Red XIII: I'm hungry!

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Cait Sith: I'm tired!

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Cid: I'm sexually deprived!

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Yuffie: Great... just do what I say, and you won't be confused, and after your done, you can eat, sleep, and force Tifa to give free lap dances.

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Everybody but Tifa: YAY!!!

The two factions went in their separate directions, killing all of the children and ugly men and women. All of the hotties were rounded into pens, and waited for whatever their new cruel and merciless masters had instore for them.

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Hot Chick1: Oh, like, no! What's, like, gonna happen to us?

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Hot Chick2: Like Yeah! I, like, so don't know, like totally!

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Hot Dude1: Dude, I so wanna get out of here and surf some waves man!

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Hot Dude2: My butt itches Dude!

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Hot Dude3: Dude, so does mine!

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Hot Dude2: BITCHIN DUDE!!!

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Cid: *walking by the hot girls' pen* Whooie! Look at them yaboos!

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Hot Chick4: Are you, like, looking at my boobs?! You, like, pervert!

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Hot Chick10: That's, like, so gross!

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Hot Dude6: *to Hot Chick10* Dude! You've got huge tits!

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Hot Chick10: OMG! You're, like, hot! Wanna fuck, like, totally?

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Hot Dude6: Dude Sweet!

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Cid: *shoots Hot Dude6* You ain't STD infesting MY whores, dammit! That's MY job!

Meanwhile...

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Sephiroth: Pookie, does this dress make me look fat?

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Vincent: Sephiroth, you aren't wearing a dress. You're wearing the clothes you wear everyday.

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Sephiroth: MY NAME'S CLAIRE!!!!

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Rufus: Hey baby, look at what I'm wearing.

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Vincent: *looks* Oh good god! Put your pants on!

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Rufus: I don't know. What about you put them on for me.

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Sephiroth: That's cheating! *takes his pants off* If Stacia gets his pants pulled up, so do I!

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Vincent: Ah crap.

Another meanwhile...

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Reno: I AM CHEESE!

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Cait Sith: I AM BEEF!

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Red XIII: AND I AM BREAD!

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Reno, Cait Sith, & Red XIII: TOGETHER WE MAKE A GREAT SANDWICH! EYAHAHA! GUARANDOO!!!

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Reno: Man, screw all this work stuff. Let's hit the bar!

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Cait Sith: Can do!

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Red XIII: Yeehaw!

Once again, meanwhile...

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Barret: Because of the Shinra, we're here where we are now.

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Cloud: I'm sexy.

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Barret: They made our lives hell, and then backstab us to boot.

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Cloud: I have awesome blonde hair.

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Barret: They suck our wallets dry and then kill off our children.

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Cloud: My eyes make me all mysterious like.

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Barret: They are the dregs of society!

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Cloud: My momma should have named me Cambell cuz I'm 'mmm mmm good'!

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Barret: I want to rid this world of their horrible existence!

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Cloud: Damn I love mirrors.

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Barret: Are you listening to a word I'm saying?

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Cloud: ... yes... *shifty eyes*

Hopefully the final meanwhile...

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Tifa: I feel that men just don't respect me.

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Yuffie: Probably because they don't.

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Tifa: All they do is grunt at whatever I say and stare at my boobs.

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Yuffie: Yes, probably because you are the sex object of the game. Continue.

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Tifa: I wonder if my boobs were smaller if they'd even notice me.

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Yuffie: Probably not.

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Tifa: Why is this the most boring convo of the fic?

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Yuffie: Because women are boring.

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Tifa: Hot damn.  


The round up ended, the hot people were used as the new owners felt appropriate, and (good news!) nine months from now, Cid would be the daddy of 71 kids. Now all that was needed was to decide which town would be conquered next.

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Yuffie: Any suggestion?

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Cloud: Why don't we take down Gold Saucer?

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Rufus: I agree to that. Then me and pooky could have some intimate moments behind the stage in Wonder Square.

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Sephiroth: Hey! That's me and Vinnie's place! 

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Vinnie: ... but I never went to the stage place, especially not with you.

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Sephiroth: Oh honey, you're such a tease!

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Rufus: Don't you touch my honey!

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Reno: Yeah! Then we could feed the Chocobos whiskey and get them vashnickered before the races! CHEESE!

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Cait Sith: BEEF!

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Red XIII: BREAD!

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Reno, Cait Sith, & Red XIII: SANDWICH!!!

So it was decided. The next stop on the world conquest trip will be GOLD SAUCER!!! SANDWHICH!!!!!!!


End file.
